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Sporadic photos and notes from a Psyche-midwife, cheerleader, anthropologist--aka clinical social worker in therapy practice. Photos are usually mine except for those of historical events/famous people. Music relevant to the daily topic is often included in a web video embedded below the blog. Click on highlighted links in the copy to get to source or supplemental material. For contact information, see my website @ janasvoboda.com or click on the button to the right below. Join in the conversation.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Resolution #6: Know and Act on a Priorty

I had this grand vision, see, of getting it right this year-- 30 resolutions in 30 days, and they were going to be numbered, written and released on the calendar days corresponding.

"If you want to make the Gods laugh, make a plan", some smartypants pantheist said.

Thursday night I planned to go to the Arts Care exhibit opening at the Arts Center-- two of my dear friends, who are wonderful artists and stellar vessels of love and light, were showing some of the work they do as part of a community project bringing healing creativity to the ill.  I've been making art (or at least watching them make it) with these and 6 other women on the coast during twice yearly retreats for 18 years.  But a few days ago we found that one of our own was diagnosed with a Really Scary Illness, so the remainder of us gathered tonight to send our loving intentions to her from too far away as she faces surgery tomorrow.  We broke bread, lit candles, sang out to her, made an alter of her pictures (she has the most whimsical smile), and told stories as we held her in our circle.

I left at 8 explaining I had to go fulfill this commitment I'd made to blog a resolution a day throughout January. We'd done what we'd come to do; it was fine.

I got home and debriefed a rough, sad day with my sweetheart, who stroked my arm, listened and was the triple C we all love him for (cool, calm and collected).  When he asked me how I was doing, I said I was so sad my stomach hurt.  Huh, he said, mine's feeling a little funny too.  I said I was sorry if I had upset him and he said no, I think it was something I ate.  There was a quick little transition from normal sweetie to the kid in the exorcist-- like in seconds.  I will not fill in the blanks for you but it ended with him too weak to talk or walk, pale and clammy, 911, the whole circus show.

Meanwhile in the ER I get a message from my sister in KC, stupid-thirty in the morning her time, that our dad's on his way to the ER there.   Haven't heard a follow-up but they thought it would be a quick visit to deal with some equipment fail issues and then he's back to acute care rehab.

By the time we got home it was 2 am, sweetie was no longer a Horror Fountain or jellyfish and my midnight deadline had come and gone without the day's blog.  Amazing what a few pints of rehydration, 6 hot blankets, 2 SWEET nurses (yea Lindsey!  yea Laura!) and he is off to sleep the sleep of the just and the just real tired.

More on this theme in tomorrow's /today's blog, Dealing with Bloody Reality As it Is, Even When It Stinks.  Though if memory serves, it had a gentler title when I first thought of writing it.  And I will try to stay on track, God Willing and the Crik Don't Rise.  Meanwhile I am using my vast knowledge of criminal thinking errors (justification, uniqueness)  to say I am STILL ON TRACK: it's still Thursday to me since I've not been to bed.

Some ideas to consider if you take this resolution as homework:
What is calling for my attention?  Whose need is greatest?  What would future self want present self to do now?  Notice a priority in your life and give it its due today.  Maybe that's getting to the gym, maybe it's calling your mother to tell her you love her.  I trust you.  You'll figure it out.

We have competing agendas all the time.  For this resolution, look at your priorities and see what truly needs your attention and will best serve a pressing need.  Remember to count yourself in the equation need-wise.
As in , right now, I need to get some sleep.
ps-- this photo isn't mine because i did not make the summit that day-- Thanks to photog/mountain goat Tom Brennan for the shot.


Jana Z said...

Nice, Jana!

Julianadoremi said...

Jana, I am so sad that you have been going through all of this. It reminds me of recent times in my own life, dire ilness and crisis and love being the engine that got me through it and moved me forward.
Know (and you do) that your own engine is fully supplied!
xo Juliana